im 18, and i own a miniature dachshund and ive had her sense a little pup and she will be 9 years old this coming july :[ she starting to get white hairs pop up and its eating away at me. im known for not showing emotions, im kind of the tough skinned athlete but i cant help but tear up when im in bed trying to go to sleep at night holding lexie (my baby) just thinking about the day she may pass. im soo attached to her, i cant sleep without her at night and and i always have to love on her before i leave the house or when i come home from school the first thing i do is love her and squeeze her b/c i missed her sooo much. shes making me so emotional that im even beginning to tear up at any random moment which never happens b/c im so private. and on top of her getting old and me being so attached, i will be graduating high school this year and will be moving 3 hours away for college next year and i cant take her. is that whats triggering these obsessions. i cant help but worry, sense i will be entering dental school and be gone for 7 years or more that, even thou i will come and visit almost every weekend, what if she passes while im away at school and i will never forget it b/c i wasnt there for her. im tearing up now even thinking about it again. shes gonna think im abandoning her when i move away!
has anyone felt this, what do i do im soo depressed and ive had a history of anxiety disorder (said to be caused by my habit of bottling emotions) i pick the skin on my fingers until they bleed and its uncontrollable, like bitting nails and im gaining weight b/c i eat, even if im not hungry.
im falling apart please help!